Before You Lead the Room, Read the Room

Your meeting is producing behavioural data all the time. Are you watching it?

A good friend of mine in the US worked on Jeff Bezos' team. She experienced his approach in meetings of letting the most junior people speak, before the most senior person. Jeff would speak last.

In a 2023 interview on the Lex Fridman Podcast, he shared he deliberately speaks last, because when the most senior person speaks first, their opinion can influence everyone else's thinking. Even confident people may begin second-guessing their own judgement.

The next time you're in a meeting, could you try something different?

Become a student of human behaviour and spot the Sleepwalking Effect™ in realtime? The unconscious habits that shape conversations, decisions and ultimately, culture.

5 things to look out for:

• Do people understand that challenging an idea isn't a personal attack? Or does defensiveness shut down discussions?

• Who hasn't contributed? What have I assumed about them? Are we missing out?

• Who defers to seniority?

• Whose ideas gain momentum? The person who spoke first, or most senior?

• Have we actually taught our people how to challenge constructively, or simply expect them to know how?

If you intentionally observed more, assumed less and got curious, would they notice? And more importantly, what valuable insights might you uncover to improve culture, retention or profits?

The White House trick

In President Obama's first term, women on his staff noticed their points were being missed. Or claimed by someone else.

So they made a pact. When one woman made a key point, another repeated it and gave her credit by name.

They called it amplification. The room could no longer miss it. Obama began calling on women and junior aides more often.

The Science

In 1985, Garold Stasser and William Titus found groups spend most of their time on information everyone already shares. The unique facts held by one person often never come up at all.

And the first view spoken becomes an anchor. Everything after gets measured against it.

Watch for five minutes

Next meeting, be less of a participant and more of a behavioural scientist.

Who speaks without an invitation?  Who softens their point halfway through? Who starts with "This might be completely wrong, but”? Who gets interrupted? Whose idea gets more interesting once someone senior repeats it?

And my favourite. What happens during the five seconds after someone disagrees with the boss?

The data is often in the unspoken. Faces , the silence, a sudden outbreak of enthusiastic nodding.

The ACT Reset

• Awaken. How curious am I about people as individuals? Have I stopped noticing behaviours and simply getting through the agenda as quickly as possible?

• Curiosity. Ask yourself what have I been missing? Who am I overlooking? Who needs to be told before the meeting the team needs to hear their thoughts.

• Try. Change the order. Hear from the least powerful voices first. Speak last. Teach them how to challenge each other and why it’s essential.

After next team meeting uncomfortable challenge.

Be honest, are these meetings simply producing consensus as quickly as possible.

The company is paying for what they notice and how to improve. Are they being encouraged to share?And perhaps most importantly:

Is ego or title getting in anyones way of listening to and prioritising hearing from others?